May I be kind to myself

When We Don’t Live Up to Our Ideal Selves

We all carry an image of who we think we should be — calm, kind, disciplined, patient, successful, loving.

That image often becomes a quiet standard that we measure ourselves against. And when we fall short, it can hurt. We can become our own harshest critics, tightening with guilt, disappointment, or shame.

But the truth is — we are not meant to be our ideal selves all the time.

We are meant to be human — imperfect, inconsistent, and in motion. The moments when we fall short are not proof of failure; they are invitations to meet ourselves with tenderness.

The Gift of Self-Forgiveness

Forgiving ourselves is not about excusing our actions. It’s about recognizing our humanity — remembering that growth doesn’t happen in perfection, it happens in honesty.

When we forgive ourselves, we release the tight grip of “I should have…” and open a little more space for “I can begin again, right here.”

Awareness Changes Everything

Whenever I become aware of those thoughts — I should be… I should have… — something shifts.

In that moment of noticing, I’m no longer inside the thought.

I’m here, observing it.

And just like that, it already has less power, takes up less space, and loses its hold on me.

This awareness is the doorway back to presence. It’s not about stopping the thoughts, but about noticing them — gently, with curiosity. Awareness doesn’t erase imperfection; it allows it to exist in a larger space of understanding.

The Invitation of Self-Compassion

Maybe the invitation today is simple:

Pause.

Take a breath.

Right here, right now — it’s like this.

May I be kind to myself.

And if I listen closely, there is a quiet exchange within me.

As the speaker, I whisper:

“I see you. I hear you. I love you.”

And as the receiver, something softens and answers:

“I am seen. I am heard. I am loved.”

This is the practice — returning, again and again, to this tender place of being with what is.

Warmly, Jey Kirouac